The Tempest

Sam's adjustment to her new sister's arrival is hopefully approaching its apex. We're on a steady diet of pouting and whining with daily supplements of prostrate flailing and self-flaggelation. She even managed to repeatedly kick herself in the face the other day.
Jon is currently finishing up week 1 of his 6-week "capstone". During the capstone portion of his schooling, he gets to work on the night shift on the Progressive Care Unit at Centerpointe Medical Center. Does he get money? Ha. His August 11th graduation looms ever closer.
Becky is doing a spectacular job holding the household together despite her husband's irregularly nocturnal schedule, her toddler's malcontent, and her infant's overactive poop gland. She even looks good. REAL good.

This is the position for Sam's "power pout". We also call it tantrum level green.

In truth, she's a very sweet little girl 82% of the time. That's what we try to document.





Sam prefers the cat version.

Watch

The Tolmans have been inducted into the digital realm by way of a generous birthday/birth present from some visually starved grandparents. Let your famished eyes glut on the pixelated feast afforded by handsome technology.

Lucy and her nose.

It's hard to tell here whether Sam is genuinely pleased to have her sister next to her or if she's just holding that grin until we look away and she has the opportunity to strike.

Babies aren't supposed to be able to climb into their basinette.

Not many people realize that Becky gave up a career as a mediocre center in the NBA before she gave it all up to spawn girls. I just wish she'd been more careful with her money.




Our new piece of technology allows us to do things like this. We would have gotten a video of Lucy, but it would have looked a whole lot like the still photos.

Lucy Re-runs

Here're a few more hospital shots.

We Love Lucy

Great leaping dairy cows and sweet raspberry jello.
Lucy Laree Tolman was born at 4:17 PM on June 20th, 2007. Her parents arrived at St. Joseph Medical Center at 6 AM, and the Pitocin was started around 7:30. Thankfully, Becky received her epidural just a couple hours later, so the majority of the labor was relatively painless. A little bit after four, Becky was told to push. And push she did. Becky, somehow, with the stern resolve of a Norwegian seamstress, and in blatant violation of several of Newton’s laws, squeezed an 8 pound 1 ounce baby out of her sacred orifice without any cutting at all.
Lucy has 2 blue eyes, a wisp of dark hair, a hardy appetite, and head shaped like a yam. Actually, her head has already started to mold itself back into a more human shape.
Enough words. Here she is.

All 20 inches.
Interesting. Very Interesting.
The glorious, triumphant goddess of fertility.
The Fantastic-er Four
Sam does love to hold her,

but the statement, "don't touch her eyes"

is going to be a theme in the household.

Imminence

This will be the last posting before the population of the Tolman clan is increased, presumably by one. Becky is bulging. She's bulging to the point that neither if us would be too terribly surprised if a legion of Tibetan warriors came hurtling out of her womanhood weilding scimitars and hate in their bloodthirsty fists.

We thought we were going to be having this gymnast on the 15th, but Becky's sweetheart of an OBGYN decided to schedule her induction for the 20th.
Sam does not appear to grasp the reality of her impending loss of attention. She has, however, learned how to do a spectacular impression of a goldfish.

One of Samantha's favorite things to do is feed baby goats. We tried to convince her that she might get more personal satisfaction out of feeding Somalians, but she'd have none of it.

She's also taken to wearing her goggles. She does like to go to the swimming pool, but she's wearing them here to keep her father's spittle out of her eyes while he curses the ants in the kitchen.

Valuable Information

Jon just wrapped up another term of nursing school. Despite his mediocre grades, he managed to learn a few valuable lessons by observing the conditions and reading the histories of some of his patients.

1. Do not try to outrun the police.
2. If you do try to outrun the police, wear your seat belt.
3. Don't drink alcohol.
4. If you do drink alcohol, start a liver transplant fund for the future.
5. Don't leave your car keys out where your Alzheimer's-afflicted father can find them.
6. Don't ride a motorcycle on the same street as an Alzheimer's-afflicted man.
7. If you wake up in the morning and you can't feel your leg or bear any weight on it, go to the hospital or call your doctor rather than going back to sleep for a few more hours.
8. Don't get lap-band surgery.
9. Don't get pancreatic cancer.

And that's about it. On a less depressing note, the little thing in Becky's abdomen has been making quite a fuss, and all the fussing seems to have dropped it down an inch or two. Becky's uterus, in turn, seems to be getting itself prepared for the inevitable expulsion. Perhaps this little girl will be more anxious to smell the world than her sister was.




This is what Sam does with any and all visitors to her room. You will jump on the bed, or you will be beaten severely with a plush duck.

Our Lord

Our toddler moonlights on the weekends as a revelator. Through her, we made a discovery this week that would make Dan Brown blush. We did, in fact, discover Jesus of Nazareth's MIDDLE NAME!!! Read on.....
As you may have read in the previous blog, Sam has been repeating words with increasing proficiency. She's been helping to say the blessing over dinner. This is a rough script of the wondrous event:
Dad: "Dear"
Sam: "Dear"
Dad: "Heavenly"
Sam: "Fawda"
Dad: "Thank you"
Sam: "Tinkoo"
Dad: "for"
Sam: "Fork"
Dad: "the food"
Sam: "Foo"
Dad: "Please"
Sam: "Pees"
Dad: "Bless........Bless.....Sam, don't eat yet. We're saying the prayer. Fold your arms. Ok. Bless"
Sam: "Bess"
Dad: "The food"
Sam: "Foo"
Dad: "In the name"
Sam: "Na name"
Dad: "of Jesus"
Sam: "Jesus Elmo Crise"
Dad: (Snicker snicker) "Amen"
Sam: "Amen"

In the name of Jesus Elmo Christ....Amen.

Mutalisk

Becky had her 32-week appointment with the baby doctor on Friday. Dr. Halberstadt said she might be amenable to inducing early if our schedule demanded it, so we might find ourselves having some "terribly inconvenient" circumstances in June.
Sam is now reaching a point in her language development where she'll repeat just about any one or two syllable word she hears, whether she knows what she's saying or not. Becky's trying to cut back on some of her more colorful explitives.
We watched "The Queen." We thought it was boring. Maybe if we cared about Princess Diana, or the Royal family, or about England, it would have been more interesting. I guess I'm used to movies in which the protagonist has to overcome something more tangibly sinister than negative headlines. I just need a ninja or a guy with a gun or a mutant fish or something. We thought "Prairie Home Companion" was pretty boring, too. I think we're planning to go on a Will Ferrell binge for a couple weeks. Maybe then we'll be in the mood for cinematic ambiance.


Sam doesn't get to eat until she does her chores. Here she is bringing the can back from the dumpster across the street.

She did a remarkable job with the lawn. This is before our crop of dandelions popped up. We'll have her spray this week.


We should have started this work-eat program earlier. As you can see, lazy-bones got into the habit of taking naps during the day. We're lucky to get a measly ten hours of labor out of the little cream-puff.

April and her turtle friends

Hi-diddly-ho!
We've had some unusually cold weather here in the Midwest. It makes us wonder whether or not Hamlet the heat-absorbing hamster is up to his old shenanigans again. Of course, we couldn't possibly know for sure unless we found those magical crystal droppings, but who has time to look?
It's warming up nicely now, and we're all grateful we don't live in Japan, where your toilet might catch on fire.
Samantha kissed a non-relative, naked boy in a bath tub over the weeked. She also gingerly touched his little bottom. I don't know where she gets this kind of behavior. No wait. I suppose I do.
The following pictures are little bit old, but such is the price of lingering in the non-digital age.
This picture makes Becky look like she's about 13 months along. She's actually mostly laying down on that porch swing.

Becky's OBGYN wanted another ultrasound, and boy are we glad we got one. Isn't she beautiful? And she already has teeth!
Sam's really more of a "destroying angel."
This picture was taken at 2:35.
This is 6-year-old cousin Jack. Jack is obviously not a tall boy, but he's wonderfully willing to hug and be hugged by Sam, who has a tendency to psychologically damage other toddlers and babies with her affection.

3/4

A brief one.
Samantha has succesfully gone pee-pee in the potty three times. This is an exciting thing for her parents. We're hoping she'll be in panties by the time she defends her thesis. That'll be cutting it close.
Becky is almost 30 weeks through her 40 week gestation period. She's used her younger daughter to whack her older daughter upside the head.
Jon separated a couple ribs from an old lady's sternum during his clinicals.
Sam is seen here changing Godzilla's diaper.



This is Samantha with Tabitha, who lives next door. Yes, we are aware that they both share names with TV witches. Tabitha and her friend Hanna, have given the Tolman parents a few lovely Sam-free afternoons.

Sam with King Cholesterol.