Puppy Love

This is Sam's traditional hug...


This...






is...





not...




Heh, heh, heh. I told her to do that.





Sweet, slobbery revenge.

Dreamers

Last night I dreamed that I was with my old roommate, Sarah (LaPray) Abbot, and we were trying to rescue Sam from a kidnapper. Luckily we were wizards and were able to use our wands to levitate the bad guys so that we could run underneath them and fly up into the tree. Unfortunately, I knew that the bad guy knew that we were in the tree because he was coyly singing "Oooo what a feelin'...to be dancin' on the ceilin'...". It wasn't a bad rendition.


When I was pregnant with Samantha, I had an unusual amount of scary dreams, but this one topped the stack. So...(I am now dreaming) I was sitting on my bed, feeling really worried about something, but I couldn't remember what it was, when all of the sudden a little furry ball comes flying at my face. It was trying to eat my face like a rabid squirrel. I couldn't get the pesky thing off of me. It just kept scurrying about my face trying to bite and kill me. It looked a lot like a Furby, those little fuzzy things with beaks for mouths. So anyways, I am wrestling with the little bugger for a frighteningly long time and all the while it is growling the words, "Family Genealogy, Family Genealogy." Finally I realized I just needed to pry open it's little beak and scream into it's mouth and all my problems would disappear. So I took the little greasy beak between my fingers and popped it open and screamed! This is when Jon woke up. He said he heard this:


And in honor of my little sister Chrissy, I can't leave out the fact that because of one particular dream while living in Chatsworth, I now LOVE rose-colored blinds. Believe me, that's all you want to know.


I have to make one comment about this video. This morning Sam asked for pancakes. I immediately responded and made her some because she usually won't eat anything at all for breakfast, so to ask for something was amazing. Anyways, notice that she is indeed NOT eating the pancakes. I guess she figures (correctly) that if she asks for syrup for breakfast I'll say no.

Doesn't she sound a bit like a dying cat?
P.S. Does anyone know how to get rid of those pesky little ants that seem to love my kitchen?

Discipline and Supination

Both our girls exhibited a tremendous amount of will today.

Darling Samantha reached over and deliberately scratched her mommy on the neck. That put her in "Time-Out" until she apologized. She's been having too much fun during periods of discipline, so we switched "Time-Out" from her room to the 3 ft x 3ft linoleum alcove where our front door opens. We decided that we needed to put our combined parental foot down and keep her there until she actually used the word "sorry." It took about an hour and a half. The thing that finally broke her was the two of us starting a game of Connect Four where she could see us. I hope that still works when she's 17. "Sam, if you keep dating that sleazebag drug-dealer, we're not going to let you play Connect Four."

Our younger daughter made her first move towards mobility today. She was on her stomach, and moved her tremendous noggin to one side, which pulled her over onto her back. Now, if a crazed maniac with a sword or axe comes into the house, she'll be able to dodge out of the way.

If you look closely, you can see the horrible neck rash that Lucy's developed due to the stream of saliva, formula and stomach acid that almost continuously flows from her her adorable gullet. We've started putting diaper rash ointment on it.

To quote Cake: "I want a girl with a mind like a diamond. I want a girl who knows what's best. I want a girl with teeth that cut and eyes that burn like cigarettes."

Becky's two oldest nephews, Nate and Tyler had their 14 and 12-year birthday party this weekend. We got them pillowcases decorated with this picture. We figure that it'll help them remember what's really important in life. (A keen eye will notice Jon's digitally whitened teeth!)

Pioneer Children did what?

We've recently had the opportunity to use our thigh muscles in support of our nephews. I'm not talking about our stand on immigration, people, so get that right out of your heads.
Sam's cousin, Jack Thorne has Down Syndrome and we attended the 12th annual Buddy Walk at Arrowhead Stadium. It's a lot of eating hot dogs and hamburgers and free fizzy yogurts with a number of local media outlets and businesses making sure you know that they support good causes, then some of the crowd takes a short jaunt around the two ballparks.
One week later, we went with the Varones to the FAAN (Food Allergy Awareness Network) walk. Cooper Varone's head explodes if you give him a nut. Understandably, the food at the FAAN walk wasn't nearly as good. Lots of soy products and treats that didn't have ingredients.
Interestingly, the FAAN walk was a fairly grueling 2-mile trek over numerous hills at a Kansas park. Maybe they figure that a coating of sweat is a good way to protect the kiddos from allergens.

The carnivorous Jack Thorne, doing to a patty what must be done to a patty.








Sam was fascinated by, but not trustful of this colorful and surely odorific, Jesus-loving clown. There were actually a number of clowns advocating Christianity. ZING!

There was quite a crowd at the Buddy Walk. If you look really really close, you can see Sue Thorne worrying about something or other.


This creepy frog lurked around the outhouses smearing hallucinogens from its glands onto unsuspecting toddlers and old people.


The Varones, all extremely aware in the allergy sense, and all willing to pimp themselves out to companies that produce anti-allergy products.




Jon and Lucy Tolman. Jon is not allergic to foods, but pollen is not his friend. Lucy was not aware of allergies, or anything else that happened while we were there.
Cooper, the boy who keeps pecan pie out of family gatherings but is so worth it.





Unrelated to helping kids with Down Syndrome or allergies, we put Sam on the little potty chair and managed to catch a tinkle. That was a couple days ago, but please oh please let this be the start of something beautiful.

Refracted Light, Dryers, and Ferral Babies

We had two couples over for a night of fun and fellowship. We ended up thoroughly defeating both of them in a game of Cranium. As some of you may be aware, Cranium involves a variety of activities, including "charades." If any of you can guess the object that Jesse is attempting to portrait before the answer is given away, you win the special prize...



It's nice to have Neidholdts over because they have a daughter Sam's age who is helping her learn how to act and dress like a girl.













These two videos are not from game night, but neither are most videos, so I can't think of any reason why that would justify any complaints on your part.

Life and Death

A few days ago, we decided to slap a coat of cheap white paint onto our travesty of a shed. Before the painting could start, we needed to take a broom to the exterior in order to remove dirt, cobwebs, and anything else that might have impeded adhesion. During this pre-paint cleansing, I discovered a small, green cocoon attached to the wall about 6 inches off the ground. I removed the delicate chrysalis and gingerly carried it inside. The Discovery Channel taught me long ago that butterflies exit their metamorphic chamber downward, assisted by gravity, so I made a hoop out of a twist-tie and secured it to the refrigerator with a magnet.

Two days later, we spent the night in Liberty because Becky's parents needed a ride to the airport at about a quarter past the butt-crack of dawn. When we returned to our home that afternoon, I discovered this:

This butterfly did not drop out of its cocoon into the bottle-wash. The sink is about 10 feet from the refrigerator. That means the little fellow emerged, dried his wings, took flight, and then dropped into the bottle-wash. Did he die, then fall? Did he fall, then drown? I cannot say. I think I heard somewhere that Monarch butterflies live in their adult form for about 24 hours, which is just enough time to mate. So perhaps this insectoid miracle lived out an entire, sexually-frustrated lifetime right there in our kitchen.

I'm also not sure whether the yellow water was due to bacterial contamination or pigment leaking from the butterfly's gorgeous wings. I actually suspect pigment, since the color was clustered around the insect. Bacteria would probably have migrated throughout the medium. We re-washed anyway.

Decendency

The manifestation of genetics can bring about a variety of emotions. On one hand, a physical resemblance can give a sense of immortality to a parent. If you find yourself being trampled by a heard of stampeding antelope tomorrow, you can be small-hoofed to death with the calming knowledge that your earlobes will be enjoyed for generations to come.
We came across some old-timey photo-stills showing that our girls are wearing at least some of our genes. Nyuk-Nyuk.


The older picture is Becky. The older baby is Lucy.

We pray every day that Sam won't develope her father's cardiac dysrhythmia or shoulder hair.

After sitting at a computer for a grueling 45 minutes, Jon is now a licensed nurse in the state of Missouri. Since the consequence of not passing the NCLEX is something like a six-month waiting period before retesting and possible re-evaluation of employment status, Becky is now a wife living in a state relief.


Chillin' in da bumbo, yo.

Hodge-Podge

We had number of pictures with no coherent theme. Maybe "Super-Cutsey Buttons" or "Evil in a Mask of Flesh." Anyway, here are some pictures.


Go ahead and try to tell me that Sam isn't a miniature version of that kid from "Christmas Story."

Cross-dressing

This is how we dress Sam to sneak her into the men's room with Jon.


This is how we dress Jon to sneak him into the ladie's room with Sam.


My best friend from grade school has found the love of her life and is getting married in March! She's also found employment in a 19th century brothel. We always knew you'd make something of yourself, Angela!

This is here because we couldn't post without a picture of Lucy.

Lucy's 5th Horcrux

Lucy's starting to act more like a little human. She'll smile and occasionally laugh if you have a good joke about Europeans that she hasn't already heard.

Sam has begun reprimanding her toys. The other day, after she was scolded for some mildly aggressive behavior, Sam brought several dolls one-by-one to her grandmother, stating "Dis doll hit me. She needs say sorry."

Other developments include counting to 16, excessive use of the word "scary", and retractable fangs.

Becky is working on Harry Potter 7. Jon cut his scalp with a razor.

That's all.

Dad rarely feels comfortable wearing this shirt anymore, but that doesn't mean it shouldn't be enjoyed.