Here are the top ten reasons to NOT own a dog:
1. They smell. They smell like dog.
2. They shed. Their hair gets all over everything and it smells as much as they do.
3. They bark. They bark all day at everything that isn't food.
4. They eat food.
5. And then they poop. In your yard. Where your feet go.
6. They jump on your furniture with their little claws.
7. They bite. If they don't like something, they don't file a complaint, they just bite that thing.
8. They have other nasty things living on them, like ticks and fleas and moray eels.
9. When you go on vacation, you can't just turn the AC off and leave your house. You have to find someone to watch your dog, otherwise you'll come home to a dead dog, which smells even worse than a live dog.
10. Speaking of which, they sometimes get sick, and then you have to pay a guy who acts like a doctor to prescribe medicine or perform hip surgery or hit it with a shovel.
So that being said, meet Peanut Butter. Or Peanut. Or Pee Pee.
She's a Pug mixed with some other kind of thing that's not a pug. Probably a Chihuahua. So she essentially looks like a perpetually pissed-off Chihuahua. She's fat and lazy and she eats table scraps and doesn't bark and Becky just bought her. Like a pair of shoes.
So now we have a dog. A damn dog.