Sunday, December 26, 2010

Christmas Letter 2010

The Yule log has rolled down the calendar once again, and it’s time for the Tolman Family to avoid paying postage by sending out an electronic Christmas Letter. Fa-la-la-la-la! It’s been a pleasant enough year, with every member of the family experiencing some significant firsts:

Jon earned a 4.0 for the first time since elementary school, and classes like Advanced Pathophysiology were a bit more straining than Cursive. He’s on track to finish his master’s degree a year from now. He also grew his first crop of zucchini, created his first furniture, and saw his first baby squirrel.

Becky watched her first episode of Star Trek: Deep Space Nine. She then proceeded to watch her 2nd through 53rd episodes of Star Trek: Deep Space Nine. Has her husband turned this once hip babe into an individual who cares what the Jem ‘Hadar are going to do next? Aside from turning into a total nerd, she managed her first major home improvement as the floor got tiled and her first solo run on a riding lawn mower. I have a feeling that riding lawn mowers will be the handcarts of the 21st century.

Samantha exceeded all reasonable expectations for a normally developing human in her first semester of public education. Kindergarten is enjoyable for her, even if it is . . . elementary. She also received her first love note, though not likely the last. Perhaps we should do something to stem the tide. I’m thinking of something like a pungent body spray.

Lucy, our three-year-old, got her first hair cut, attended her first preschool, and spontaneously quoted her first scripture. Her preschool is run by a pious blind man, which is nice because all the kids get equal praise on their artwork.

Nora, as the youngest, had more firsts than anyone else. These included her first sentence, her first waste excretion in a designated receptacle, and her first tantrum involving the wrong television program.

In the coming year, we’re expecting some more exciting firsts: our first time in 5 years without a child in diapers, our first haiku death match, and our first mental breakdown related to that horribly evil mole that keeps destroying our yard. I’m going to get a back-hoe and DESTROY IT!! KILL AND DESTSTOY IT, I TELL YOU!!!

So Merry Christmas or Hanukkah or Boxing Day or whatever. As usual, if you want more frequent and thorough updates, you can visit our blog at or you can ask people who have heard things about us. Ho Ho Ho!
Love, The Tolmans

Tuesday, December 21, 2010


Last night, we decorated some gingerbread lollipop cookie things that came in a cute little kit. The kit included the gingerbread people, the frosting, colored candies, and the sticks.

Sam did a beautiful jobs, giving her gingerbread man sumptuous lavender eyes and Angelina Jolie lips.

Dad went goth with his Ghost of Gingerbread Future.

Mommy decided to go swanky with her Gingerbread French Maid

And I swear to you that Lucy did this all by herself.

Tuesday, December 14, 2010


It's cold outside. Maybe I'm getting old, but cold like this isn't exciting anymore. Perhaps cold weather like this would be more enjoyable if our windows were less drafty.
At least my wife looks good at all temperatures.
We put up the tree and Nora has green diarrhea. Of those two items, I chose to depict the tree.

Friday, December 10, 2010

Head2Toe Health Care

I realized that I failed to mention to my limited blog-readership that my mother has started a primary healthcare clinic in Aurora, CO. Obviously, this news will only be relevant to a geographically limited number of people, but it's still pretty cool.
She can accept almost all insurance plans, and if you don't have insurance, she's still a lot more affordable than other clinics. Right now, she's offering flu shots for $15, but she's seen people for everything from strep throat to tumors. (If you have a tumor, she'll refer you to someone who can fix it.) She has an especially cool plan in which you can "join" her practice for $25/month and then you can call her or go in any time at all without any copays. So it's like you're renting her.
Anyway, nurse practitioners are the family practice providers of the future. You might as well get with a good one now.

This is her website: where you can set your own appointments and what-not.

Wednesday, December 8, 2010

Your Kids are Perfectly Acceptable

We've been to our first of 11 elementary school Christmas concerts. It wasn't nearly as painful as one might have expected. Each grade only had two numbers, and some of the ones that didn't involve our daughter were actually amusing.
I have to admit, it's very gratifying seeing your daughter up on stage and notice that she is quantifiably the smartest, most attractive, and most talented child within the boundaries of her elementary school.

There she is in the center with her boots and her red gingerbread dress, beaming joy into the world.

This is Nora, not watching the concert. Lucy didn't get to have a picture taken of her because she was a nasty little 3-year-old monster throughout the evening.
This was the finale with all the kids in the school singing. You might have to search for her. She's little tiny one with the halo.