Monday, October 7, 2013

A RECIPE!!!

Well, it's been quite a while. Since June, the girls have started school, Jon ate his first cricket on purpose, and Becky got a new hat. We've decided to make this our first RECIPE POST!!!! Perhaps that will motivate us to spend more time doing this and post less on the bookface.
So, here we go:
 
Tolman Seven-pan Stroganoff
Ingredients:
About a pound of relatively expensive beef
2 small cans mushrooms
1 medium onion-chopped
1 cup sour cream
5 cups water
2 cubes beef boullion
4 tablespoons love and tenderness
Some random spices
1 bag egg noodles
 
Step 1: Place expensive beef in crockpot with onions, mushroooms, and water. Cook for however many hours it takes to cook beef in a crockpot.  
 
Step 2: When the beef has finished cooking, add sour cream. Leave the sour cream in the crockpot long enough that it curdles.
 
Step 3: Get out two strainers. One wire strainer and one larger strainer with bigger holes. Pour the "juice" through the wire strainer into another bowl. Pour the remaining contents of the crockpot into the larger strainer in the sink. You will now have one bowl of "good" stroganoff juice that smells like a mixture of bile and hamburger and a strainer full of onions, beef, and mushrooms that resembles the android from "Aliens" intestines.
 

 
Step 4. Wash off the expensive cooked beef in the sink using the sprayer and the strainer. At this point, you'll be thinking that none of the curdled sour cream's taste has penetrated the beef which had been completely submerged in the liquid for quite some time. 

Step 5: Skim the little grains of sour cream curds off the top of the "good" juice.
Step 6: Put the now curd-free beef/mushroom/onion mix into a skillet to warm. Add the "good" juice, which should smell little bit less like vomit, some non-curdled sour cream, some water, and some flour to thicken. Oh, yeah. Add some flour to the ingredients list. Sprinkle in the random spices to diguise the still-lingering smell of barf.

 
 Step 7: Boil the egg noodles al dente. Eh? And smother with stroganoff mixture. Sprinkle with love and tenderness. This will now look like stroganoff.
 
Step 8: Serve to your family. If your children love stroganoff, they will eat it, and because they only hate things that they haven't decided they love, only your oldest will notice that somethign is terribly wrong. You will probably notice that every bite makes you feel like you're making out with a very sick cow.
Step 9: Put the leftovers away.

 Bon apateet!!!

2 comments:

jon said...

it was so horrible. So. very. horrible.

jon said...

I didn't say that. Get off my account, woman.