Saturday, December 27, 2008

As Requested


Here's a few precious pictures of my kids. I used the 6.7 googa-pixel option on my camera this time, just to change things up. A note to Evil Vanessa: If you even THINK about stealing these pictures, I'll hunt you down and stab you in the throat and do a cheer routine in the pool of blood surrounding your rotten corpse.

While I'm posting pictures of the things that bring me joy, I might as well take this opportunity to list the top 5 things that make me want to puke.
1) Weather. I hate the cold because I once lived in a tropical climate where I was also miserable and had to eat cockroaches and drink expensive milk. Wishing for warmth makes me hate. Wishing for cheap milk makes me sweat.

2) You and your mother

3) People who pretend to have sophisticated literary tastes by ranting about how they hate Stephanie Myer and her bland writing and then go on to publish post after post of Twilight worship. Though I will admit that Robert Pattinson is an absolute DREAMBOAT!

4) Pound Puppies. They might as well include plush euthanasia kits.

5) My house and my possessions. I just own too much stuff. SERIOUSLY! However, it's not as bad as that summer I spent huddled under an abandoned station wagon in a ditch next to that Arbies in DeMoine. I put on so much weight digging through that greasy dumpster.

Thank you and goodnight. A Christmas wrap-up (ha) to follow soon.


Brits said...

It's a Festivus Miracle! You're awesome.

Kate said...

Haha! I don't know you but I think I want to.

Rachel said...

Jon, I'm telling on you. Mom said you weren't supposed to talk about corpses like that.

Anonymous said...

Probably your best one yet. Hilarious!