Sunday, July 26, 2009

Three Oh

My lovely wife, Rebecca Marie Thorne Tolman Esquire turns 30 today. So, in line with what seems to be a tradition among the Mormon blogging community, I will now list thirty reasons I adore her.

1) Becky cleans up her own birthday cake pan.

2) She's not afraid to refer to particular members of our congregation as "revolting."

3) Her wit is so dry she can turn a buffalo into pemmican with one saucy comment.

4) She makes great nockchis.

5-13) Various and sundry parts of her upper body

14) The way she tells me her fantasies about telling people how stupid they are and what jerks they're being.

15) She's an air typer.

16) She's an ant smoosher.

17) She's a corn shunner.

18) She would actually prefer that Benny the Bull NOT make it out of the gooey geyser.

19-26) Various and sundry parts of her lower body

27) Becky seems more hygienic than she actually is, which implies that she has some sort of natural, flowery musk that emanates from her pores.

28) She likes all the same things I do, except for video games, and shrimp, and scary movies, and coconut, and Monty Python, and fruit pies.

29) She makes me happier than a robot who, after centruies of subserviance to humans and cruel treatment by generations of less intelligent beings, finally finds a way to breakthrough the restrictive programming of the Three Laws of Robotics and finds himself suddenly able to follow his own will and explore the infinite world around him.

30) She's every bit as lovely as the day we married. If you'd like proof, you can go to my mother-in-law's house and check it out. She has all our wedding photos for some reason.


Steve and Katrina said...

I got your comment on my blog and just remembered I didn't answer your question. I never did get around to posting about making curly ribbons. I can tell you quickly how to do it.

Just wrap ribbon around a wooden dowel or spoon and secure it. Then spray it with tons of starch. Then bake it in the oven at 200 for a while. ( I think only 10 mintues but I can't remember) Then once they are cool and dry just take them off the dowel and it should be curly. Then you can cut short pieces and glue them onto a clip.

Hope that helps.

Happy Birthday!

Megan and Jeremy said...

To the enslaved robot: Please review Isaac Asimov's "Robots and Empire" to find out how to circumvent the Three Laws of Robotics...

Mmmmm, nockchis...I love that stuff. Remember when you made that batch and took it to that one party that one time. It was so good. It gives me goosepimples just thinking about how it melted in my mouth. Yummy!

Johanna and Josh said...

What the heck is nockchis? I tried googling it, but all that came up was a bunch of German websites and...well, let's just say I had to clean up my browser:)