My lovely wife, Rebecca Marie Thorne Tolman Esquire turns 30 today. So, in line with what seems to be a tradition among the Mormon blogging community, I will now list thirty reasons I adore her.
1) Becky cleans up her own birthday cake pan.
2) She's not afraid to refer to particular members of our congregation as "revolting."
3) Her wit is so dry she can turn a buffalo into pemmican with one saucy comment.
4) She makes great nockchis.
5-13) Various and sundry parts of her upper body
14) The way she tells me her fantasies about telling people how stupid they are and what jerks they're being.
15) She's an air typer.
16) She's an ant smoosher.
17) She's a corn shunner.
18) She would actually prefer that Benny the Bull NOT make it out of the gooey geyser.
19-26) Various and sundry parts of her lower body
27) Becky seems more hygienic than she actually is, which implies that she has some sort of natural, flowery musk that emanates from her pores.
28) She likes all the same things I do, except for video games, and shrimp, and scary movies, and coconut, and Monty Python, and fruit pies.
29) She makes me happier than a robot who, after centruies of subserviance to humans and cruel treatment by generations of less intelligent beings, finally finds a way to breakthrough the restrictive programming of the Three Laws of Robotics and finds himself suddenly able to follow his own will and explore the infinite world around him.
30) She's every bit as lovely as the day we married. If you'd like proof, you can go to my mother-in-law's house and check it out. She has all our wedding photos for some reason.