Lucyisms

Lucy is not as linguistically gifted as her older sister. Sam was talking in very complete, understandable sentences by this age. However, Lucy is getting much better about putting words together and has developed a functional, individual vocabulary, some of which is as follows:

Mommy = MOMMEEE!!!

Daddy = DADDEEEE!!!

Sam = Drai-jrai (no idea)

Nora = Baby

Bottle = Bahbo

Nose = Bop bop

Horse = Gidyup, or Eeehaw

Food = Eat

Dora = Dada

Ear = Eeeyoo

Insect = Dubby

Any color = Puhpoh (Purple)

Any fruit = Appoh

So, when discussing an orange: "Lucy, what's this?" "Appoh" "No, it's an orange. Can you say 'orange'?" "Puhpoh."

Waaboo dwee no no daymo Drai-jrai hahpoo fai = If you don't take that toy away from Sam and give it to me, I'm going to burn the couch.

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Protect Insurance Companies PSA from Will Ferrell

We Shaved the Baby

See what happened was we went to feed baby goats again and then we stopped at the new playground before we left. There in the playground was this lady, who claimed to be from Chihuahua. Mexico but really she was probably a gypsy. I guess there isn't really a reason that a gypsy couldn't be from Chihuahua, Mexico.

So there was this Mexican Gypsy and she had this daughter who was about 3 years old and this little girl had more hair than any five normal adults combined. It was super thick down past her little tushy. In a jealous tone, I told the gypsy lady that her daughter had lots of hair.

She replied, in a very mysterious gypsy-like, Mexican accent, "Yes she does. When our girls are between 6-10 months old, we shave their heads, then it grows in thick. And here, take these magic turnips."

Actually, she didn't offer us any of her magic turnips, but we did ponder on her words. We figured that Nora is pretty much bald anyway and if it helps her hair grow, she might look like a girl a little sooner than Sam did.

So yeah, we shaved the baby.

Becky made some surprisingly stylish dresses for the older girls using her own shirts.

Sam was not prompted to use Magnum.

I think Sam kinda looks like a little Nephite here.

Less Successful

A few examples of some activities that turned out less than triumphant.

We're trying to get Lucy off the bottle. When we just took it away, she refused to drink to the point where she got really constipated, so we relented. If you look close you can see a lovely bottle rash around her lips. I got her to use this twirly straw the other day, but that only lasted about an hour. Maybe I should just start an IV to keep her hydrated.


This was supposed to be a meatloaf.



This was supposed to be a picture of something other than Sam's finger.


This was a very pleasant activity for our middle daughter, until she stood up and walked around on the carpet with her toes curled under.

This was supposed to be a thawing chicken, but those scheming naked babies are always running around and pooping in any body of water they can find.

A Bit O' Lucy

Thanks for noticing.



Intimidating the sewing machine.

Mid-August

A few events took place this week that will undoubtedly bore the general public, but nonetheless have the Tolman household in a mind of progress.
Samantha received her first haircut from a professional haircutting person. This individual took quite a bit longer to complete the task than would generally be considered acceptable, but Sam is very pleased with the results.

We turned off the TV and seem to have established a bedtime routine including, but not limited to, three books, two songs, butter churning, and a flog. They've actually been asleep prior to 9:00, if you can tie that in square knot!

These have started turning red. I just hope George Clooney doesn't show up to thwart them.

Homework

My first online assignment in "Nursing Research" was to introduce myself. I claimed to have cuter kids than anyone else and included a link to our blog, so I figured I should put up some current proof.

This is our eldest, Samantha. Sam enjoys princesses, rainbows, swimming, and World War I reenactments. As the only one of her siblings that speaks in complete sentences, she's become the designated messenger to the neighbors in the event of badger or racoon attack.

This is Lucy, our ornry second child. She enjoys Dora the Explorer, staying up late, and occasionally drawing blood with her teeth. Lucy hopes to one day have her name in the horticulture section of the Guiness Book of World Records.

Nora is our docile third and final. She is bald like her father, sweet-tempered like her mother, and has the powerful grip of her truck-driving granduncle Clair. We believe she has good, but realistically conservative plans for her eventual mobility.

Cries in the Night

Becky and I got about 7 hours of sleep last night, if you add the hours that each of us slept. Nora was constipated due to the new formula we were trying, Lucy puked up a wad of Velveeta cheese and peas around 10:30, and Samantha fell asleep around 7 PM, so she naturally woke up at 4:30.

Mommy and our second around 3:30 AM.

Our youngest about 3 seconds later.

This is a bunk bed, which was purchased off craigslist.

This is a water buffalo.

Juju Beans

Well, a few things have happened lately. Jon got accepted to grad school. He'll be starting the FNP (Family Nurse Practitioner) program at Research College of Nursing. An interesting fact: Research College of Nursing used to be called the "Bugendorf College of Nursing" or something like that, but then they changed it during World War II because, well, it sounded German.

Anyway. It'll be part time and the first several classes are all online, so there won't have to be any significant change to his work schedule.

In other Tolman related news:

This is laundry. 10 points if you saw the baby before reading this sentence.

Also, bras do not go all the way up the vacuum when accidentally sucked. But they do stop the rotor, sending plumes of foul burnt rubber into the air and braking the belt.

Lucy is working on her stand-up routine. It mostly involves clapping for herself, but I like the portion where she does an impression of Michelle Obama. Spot on.

Three Oh

My lovely wife, Rebecca Marie Thorne Tolman Esquire turns 30 today. So, in line with what seems to be a tradition among the Mormon blogging community, I will now list thirty reasons I adore her.

1) Becky cleans up her own birthday cake pan.

2) She's not afraid to refer to particular members of our congregation as "revolting."

3) Her wit is so dry she can turn a buffalo into pemmican with one saucy comment.

4) She makes great nockchis.

5-13) Various and sundry parts of her upper body

14) The way she tells me her fantasies about telling people how stupid they are and what jerks they're being.

15) She's an air typer.

16) She's an ant smoosher.

17) She's a corn shunner.

18) She would actually prefer that Benny the Bull NOT make it out of the gooey geyser.

19-26) Various and sundry parts of her lower body

27) Becky seems more hygienic than she actually is, which implies that she has some sort of natural, flowery musk that emanates from her pores.

28) She likes all the same things I do, except for video games, and shrimp, and scary movies, and coconut, and Monty Python, and fruit pies.

29) She makes me happier than a robot who, after centruies of subserviance to humans and cruel treatment by generations of less intelligent beings, finally finds a way to breakthrough the restrictive programming of the Three Laws of Robotics and finds himself suddenly able to follow his own will and explore the infinite world around him.

30) She's every bit as lovely as the day we married. If you'd like proof, you can go to my mother-in-law's house and check it out. She has all our wedding photos for some reason.